How'd it feel making her break her religion?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
