I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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