At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
that is very illegal...i love you.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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