just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
