like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well I just put wine in my tea
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
