It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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