CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
