just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
