what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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