Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
