Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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