it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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