Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize