I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I could make wine with my vomit
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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