That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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