Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
