The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
