apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
