covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
