This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
