It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You were trust falling into bushes
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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