the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
