he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Holy sore nipples Batman
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
