There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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