The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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