i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
