you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
