Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize