This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
