so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
