I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
