Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
