hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
