Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
