So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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