she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
