Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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