Are we in a gay sports bar?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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