I want to make a zoo with you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
be right there i have to get my cape
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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