She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
