i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
