I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
