I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
