I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
