'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
