apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
