Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
it's like iHOP with fire
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
