I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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