What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
