i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
