I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
