Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
