just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
