i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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