He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
