return my video game
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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