Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
