This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
