Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Small penises have feelings too.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
