I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
