is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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