Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
