I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
