Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
