I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize