found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
