Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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