Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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