i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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