Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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