I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
