is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize