I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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