go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
