if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
