5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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