Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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